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My Rite of Passage: Victoria Lane

My Rite of Passage was a treasured moment. My dad had already shared the experience with my two brothers, so I knew it was something special and valuable for my family. I have to admit, I wasn’t really expecting it because I had already graduated from college and moved back home to start my career.

It started just like any other day, but we had family coming in from out of town, so my dad asked that I make sure to dress nicely. When I arrived at the church to begin my work day, I was surprised to find that several women from my family were there. I was presented with a Bible that had been given to my great, great grandmother on Christmas day in 1955, along with a highlighter.

As I journeyed through different rooms in the church, I was met by my aunt who shared what it meant to be a woman of faith, followed by my grandmother who told me my responsibilities as a woman in our family, and my other grandmother taught me how to leave a legacy. As each woman shared their topic, I highlighted the accompanying verse in the Bible and wrote their name next to the scripture they shared.

I then met with one of my mentors Dee Kelley, who taught me about purity and gave me my promise ring. My last meeting was with my mother who gave me a beautiful ruby necklace. She presented me with Psalm 31:10, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth more than rubies.” There was a ruby for each woman who invested in my life that day.

After I met with mom we went out for lunch with my family, where my dad had one more surprise up his sleeve. My brothers each received a sword for their Rite of Passage, but my dad presented me with a crown and shared Proverbs 12:4, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown…” He told me to place the crown on my bedside table to remind me to pray for the man I would someday marry, and to strive for becoming his crown of honor.

Six years later at my rehearsal dinner, I held up that crown and reminded my dad of the challenge he gave me. I then turned and gave the crown to my husband Mark. I told him that my prayer was always to be a crown to his head. That crown now sits on our bedroom dresser to remind Mark that my heart’s desire is to be the kind of wife that embodies Proverbs 12:4.

Mark and I plan to carry on this tradition with our children. The women who were involved in my Rite of Passage are still key players in my life, and they are people that I can turn to when I need counsel or prayer. It’s important to have friends, but there is nothing like having an older man or woman to challenge and disciple you. I want my children, Penelope and Sawyer, to have relationships and experiences like the ones I have been blessed with through my Right of Passage ceremony.

Victoria Lane

To read more about my families Rite of passage Ceremony check out the book “Rite of Passage” A Fathers Blessing